Recently I revisited a sci-fi manuscript I had submitted over a year ago. I found myself interested in how I’ve even changed in my ability since that time. The more experienced authors have told me about putting a manuscript down for a while after completing my revisions. I never figured over a year later would supply me with a great perspective. I cringed a bit because I had submitted this to a kids’ magazine. The editor had held onto it for an extended time hoping to use it, but eventually, she rejected it. I wish I could’ve seen my work then with the eyes I have now, but at least today I can use it for teaching.
I noticed that I leaned towards using more passive verbs than necessary. Other authors had informed me that passive verbs demonstrate weak writing.
Writing in passive appears in forms like this.
The garbage is being thrown away by the man.
An active verb revision:
The man tosses the garbage in the wastebasket.
Another example:
The bunny was being chased all over the yard
Revision:
The fox chased the bunny all over the yard.
Also, a helpful tool to identify my use of the passive is to put “by commandos” after each verb phrase.
How this works:
The pasta is eaten (by commandos). This makes sense so it identifies this sentence as passive.
The rhino charged (by commandos). The sentence doesn’t sound right so the verb is active. Make sure you only place “by commandos” after your verb phrase and not at the end of your sentence.
With passive verbs, the subject is being acted upon, but with active verbs, the subject performs the action. Active verbs create vivid pictures that keep readers engaged. Passive verbs bore them.
Yet all passive verbs are not evil. I may be required to use them, but I do so sparingly.
For my readers—Keep an eye out in your writing for “being” verbs. They are a sure sign of writing in passive. In most instances, you should attempt to change them. Readers will appreciate your writing if you do.
Press on!
I noticed that I leaned towards using more passive verbs than necessary. Other authors had informed me that passive verbs demonstrate weak writing.
Writing in passive appears in forms like this.
The garbage is being thrown away by the man.
An active verb revision:
The man tosses the garbage in the wastebasket.
Another example:
The bunny was being chased all over the yard
Revision:
The fox chased the bunny all over the yard.
Also, a helpful tool to identify my use of the passive is to put “by commandos” after each verb phrase.
How this works:
The pasta is eaten (by commandos). This makes sense so it identifies this sentence as passive.
The rhino charged (by commandos). The sentence doesn’t sound right so the verb is active. Make sure you only place “by commandos” after your verb phrase and not at the end of your sentence.
With passive verbs, the subject is being acted upon, but with active verbs, the subject performs the action. Active verbs create vivid pictures that keep readers engaged. Passive verbs bore them.
Yet all passive verbs are not evil. I may be required to use them, but I do so sparingly.
For my readers—Keep an eye out in your writing for “being” verbs. They are a sure sign of writing in passive. In most instances, you should attempt to change them. Readers will appreciate your writing if you do.
Press on!
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