Imagine a juicy, sirloin steak laying on a plate, waiting for you. As you step nearer, your mouth waters as tender strips of meat fill your mind. Before you reach it, someone steps in front of you to strike up a conversation. Over his shoulder, the wonderful steak awaits, but you can’t enjoy its goodness until this person leaves.
Example #1
Ron tasted the delicious chocolate and noted its gooey center.
See how it takes you out of the character’s experience? We writers can do better and instead, draw our readers into what Ron is doing. Let’s try again.
Ron popped the chocolate heart into his mouth. Its decadent flavor overwhelmed his senses. Upon reaching the gooey center, he sighed with a smile as wide as the mountain range outside his cabin door.
Without the filtering words, the reader identifies with the experience of eating a good piece of chocolate.
Example #2
Susan saw a robin perched on a branch outside her window. She felt sad as she remembered her mom wasn’t here anymore to see it.
Using a filter word such as felt can be a form of telling instead of showing.
A robin perched on a leafy branch outside Susan’s window. A memory of her mom feeding the local birds flooded her mind. After staring at the bird for a moment, she brushed away a couple tears and returned to chopping the carrots.
Taking a few extra minutes to eliminate the filter words and add more action can give a more vibrant read to your story.
Example #3
The man seemed odd to Easton. He noticed him skipping down the street with oversized clown shoes and wearing a life vest. The boy thought he should walk on the other side of the street.
We want to be immersed in the story rather than being on the outside looking in.
Wearing a life vest in the hot Arizona summer, a man in oversized clown shoes skipped towards Easton.
Wrinkling his eyebrows, the boy raced to the other side of the street.
We can understand Easton’s motive now for thinking this man as odd, maybe even a little unstable.
A useful tool to help you edit filter words is the “find and replace” function on your computer. If you become aware of certain words being used, pop the word into find and the search will help you locate and fix them all.
Hopefully, this helps you gain a keen eye towards eliminating filtering in your writing. If it helps, drop me a note in the comments!
In a similar way, a filter word gets in the way of the story by having you see, know, feel, and experience the world through a character’s eyes. Writers can default to these filter words often in a first draft. The author then should root them out and replace them with action during revision.
Now I indicated a few of these filter words with the previous italics. Let me expand the list for you.
- Know
- See
- Experience
- Feel
- Notice
- Note
- Seem
- Taste
- Like
- Smell
- Thought
- Remember
- Sense
Example #1
Ron tasted the delicious chocolate and noted its gooey center.
See how it takes you out of the character’s experience? We writers can do better and instead, draw our readers into what Ron is doing. Let’s try again.
Ron popped the chocolate heart into his mouth. Its decadent flavor overwhelmed his senses. Upon reaching the gooey center, he sighed with a smile as wide as the mountain range outside his cabin door.
Without the filtering words, the reader identifies with the experience of eating a good piece of chocolate.
Example #2
Susan saw a robin perched on a branch outside her window. She felt sad as she remembered her mom wasn’t here anymore to see it.
Using a filter word such as felt can be a form of telling instead of showing.
A robin perched on a leafy branch outside Susan’s window. A memory of her mom feeding the local birds flooded her mind. After staring at the bird for a moment, she brushed away a couple tears and returned to chopping the carrots.
Taking a few extra minutes to eliminate the filter words and add more action can give a more vibrant read to your story.
Example #3
The man seemed odd to Easton. He noticed him skipping down the street with oversized clown shoes and wearing a life vest. The boy thought he should walk on the other side of the street.
We want to be immersed in the story rather than being on the outside looking in.
Wearing a life vest in the hot Arizona summer, a man in oversized clown shoes skipped towards Easton.
Wrinkling his eyebrows, the boy raced to the other side of the street.
We can understand Easton’s motive now for thinking this man as odd, maybe even a little unstable.
A useful tool to help you edit filter words is the “find and replace” function on your computer. If you become aware of certain words being used, pop the word into find and the search will help you locate and fix them all.
Hopefully, this helps you gain a keen eye towards eliminating filtering in your writing. If it helps, drop me a note in the comments!
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